Friday, January 30, 2015

Losing It - Part xxx (Always)

I damn near lost it at work yesterday afternoon.  The feeling of despair kept growing all
day and by mid-afternoon I was ready to start crying.  I knew if that started the
uncontrollable sobbing would be right behind.  Now that would have made a nice scene at
work.  I walked away from my desk for a bit, took an anxiety pill and fought back the
tears.  When I returned to my work I was still having trouble focusing so I took another
half of an anxiety pill.  To explain this anxiety medication, it is fairly strong and I
usually take only half a tablet at a time.  By the last half hour of work I was settled down
but right at 5:00 I bolted out of there.  The anxiety medication did its trick but as I
said it is powerful.  By the time Sue got home I was relaxed to the max.  I am sure Sue was
a bit worried so I did try to explain what was going on.  But I do not believe anyone
except my therapist really understands the full extent of my depression.  I ended up
crawling my butt to bed early, and slept the whole night through.  I am merely trying to
document this incident.  I have no words of wisdom (as if) to add to what happened this
time.

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