Message to Sue

Dear Sue,

When I came out to you more than three and a half years ago I fully expected rejection.  During this time you have read and learned so much about gender issues.  You know that statistically very few spouses choose to remain in the relationship when their partner comes out as transgender.  Yet you choose to go against those statistics.  You choose to keep our relationship growing.  You have been more accepting and understanding than I ever dreamed possible.  You accept me as a woman, and you do not worry what the world might think of that.

I truly believe we've become closer during the past three and a half years than the previous thirty.  Although, despite my having kept my gender issue secret all that time we still managed to build a great relationship.  I think this has created the solid foundation that has helped to hold us together.  We've talked about this and you know that I do believe you to be my true soulmate.

Something I would like to attempt to explain are those moments when you have caught me "zoning out" as you have called it.  Most of those instances are when my depression, my darkness finds its way to the surface for a bit (as I talked about in that last blog entry).  There is no sane reason why I should have bouts of depression, but I do.  I try to tamp it down, to hold it off, but it still gets to me occasionally.  And you know me so well that you almost always notice when it occurs.

Most of the time it lasts a relatively brief time, runs its course and then I'm fine.  Having it last for a number of days is an exception which I hope to be a rare occurrence. 

Just know that when I experience these bouts of darkness I always know that you and your love are there with me.  I could have no better rock solid support than that. No amount of depression can last overly long against the strength that is you.

Thank you so very much!

All my love is forever yours.