Over the past few weeks I have been able to talk with a woman who had Gender Confirmation Surgery a year earlier. She had it done by a Dr. Gast at the University of Wisconsin Hospital in Madison. She had a great experience with the surgery and that hospital, and has been totally happy with the results. She talked in detail about her experience and what her life is like now. I learned that a good friend was scheduled to have the same surgery on July 19th and two other transwomen from the transgender support group have dates set in November. Madison isn't terribly far from my town so I decided to go there too. I made an appointment for August 1st for an initial consultation with Dr. Gast.
I drove my friend to Madison for her surgery and stayed until she was discharged from the hospital. Her surgery was on a Friday and she was discharged the following Wednesday. I then drove her home. My appointment was to be 8 days later.
So. Two days ago I had my initial consultation with the surgeon in Madison, Dr. Gast, who does Gender Confirmation Surgery. She's very caring and respectful. I'm in. The last step is verifying what my insurance will cover, and then set a date. But I must choose which type of GCS to have. There are two types of GCS: full depth and zero depth. Both result in a fully normal appearing vagina as well as a sexually functional clitoris. The difference is that full depth (Vaginoplasty) results in a full vaginal cavity. Zero depth (Vulvoplasty) will result in a small dimple (no vaginal cavity), but on the outside it will result aesthetically looking like a cis-woman's vagina. The full depth option requires laser or electrolysis hair removal around the base of the penis & around the scrotum, bowel cleanse before surgery, and dilating the vaginal canal the rest of your life. The zero depth option requires no hair removal, no bowel cleanse and no dilating. The zero depth surgery is safer and takes less time in the OR. The full depth option is being scheduled out to January/February. Zero depth surgery can be scheduled sooner, maybe
October/November?
Dr. Gast fully explained the pro's & con's of both options and did not pressure me to choose one over the other. She told me she would accept whichever option I choose, and she would do the surgery on me for either one. But she did explain that because of my age, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. that I would run a risk of complications during surgery and a higher risk of infection. She advised that due to the health concerns the zero depth option might be the better choice for me. One other consideration is that I apparently don't have enough penile material (wtf?!) to create a full vaginal canal. The truth is that, most likely from having a lower level of testosterone all my life, I was never endowed with much "down there". For the full depth option she would need to take a skin graft, probably from my thigh, to complete the vaginal canal. I have dreamed of having the full depth most of my life. I have wanted to be as close as I could be to anatomically correct since I hit puberty. And it really isn't so much about experiencing sex correctly as a woman as it is feeling that my body is fully complete, fully whole. I have allowed myself to believe that I could only feel right about myself by having the full depth vaginoplasty. But I do understand the health risks so I will need to choose the zero depth option. After taking in everything I told Dr. Gast my choice would be zero depth GCS (Vulvoplasty). I got all emotional. I started bawling. Damn it, I'm bawling now.
Besides being a less complex procedure and much safer, there really are some good advantages to having the zero depth surgery. Hopefully I will be able to concentrate on the benefits of this choice. It truly is a final decision and I will need to fully accept it for the rest of my life.
